How to Kill Time

Very carefully take off your watch and lay it on a table. Leave the room in the dark for 21 days. Recite the Ora Pro Nobis five times. At the end of the fifth Amen, a minute before midnight strikes, take a heavy phone book and every so slowly open the door, taking care that you don't let in any light (don't even think of bringing a flashlight or a mobile phone) -- the luminous dial of your watch will be enough to guide you. With the phone book firmly in hand, pound the watch 21 times while reciting "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas".

Exit slowly, and close the door, gently, as if nothing happened.